Confusion...

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get. and then when you think you have the chocolate covered carmel toffee...it turns out to be chocolate covered poo....gross.

This isn't going to be a depressing post, just a thoughtful one.

Sometimes in life, you want something so bad...and then you get it...and you just dont want it anymore, for whatever reason, or it turns out to be different than the way you wanted it...which could be better for you, or worse for you, if its not supposed to work out. I still want it..but in a different way...or in a more grown up way. I can't handle immature flirtiness anymore! I need something mature that I can rely on. Im planning on working on it this week...see what I can do.

Im so tired right now! Im gonna go to sleep and think about my situation and maybe get back to ya'll tomorrow. Thanks for readin!

If all of my friends sent me a dollar, I would have a dollar!

hahah....I like tonight's Name....good one, isn't it? Well, I just thought I would write tonight and give a shout out to all those sweet Spartans who played better than I've ever seen...since two years ago when we got second in state...but anyway, they did SO good last night, and anyone who is going to the Beaverton game tomorrow night call me, or maybe I'll just see you there! It will be the most awesome game. Addy is gonna come and cheer for Hilhi because if we win, then aloha still gets into the playoffs too...haha..Goodtimes. Lets see...Nothing is really new except that I work a lot...and yeah. Im going to the Harlem Globe Trotters game this saturday, but I dont know how its all going to work out yet...I'll share more when its all over and done with. Anywho- Thats all I really have for tonight, Have a good one!

Im going to the Maroon FIVE concert!!!

Picture this....me....at the maroon 5 concert on April 29, the DAY before I leave for college again! YAAAAAY! I won some tickets on the radio today! Im becoming just like my dad, hahah! It was pretty exciting. Then, like 10 minutes later, I got pulled over...there was this stop light, and it had just turned yellow, and the ones in St. Helens SUCK and you cant see them very well, so I just went, and yep, there was a cop a few cars ahead of me, and saw...so he pulled me over, but get this- He walked up to my car, and goes "Hey, since we are in the middle of the road, Im just going to give you a warning, cuz you ran that red light back there, so be more careful next time, ok?" then he walked away....I guess today is kind of a lucky day for me, huh? Pretty cool, I thought. He didnt even ask for lisence and registration or proof of insurance..it was weird, but good. haha. So anyways, Good days like this are rare, so I thought I would bask in the goodness of it. well, Im gonna go watch family guy with a friend....I'll write more soon! Thanks for reading kids!

PS....You can start bribing me anytime....Im not really sure who I'm gonna take to the concert with me......:-D

blemishes

I got this quote from a very good friend of mine...


"Don't make someone your priority, when you are only their convenience"

Its SO true! I never really thought of things like this before, but ya know when you know you like someone more than they like you, or even just care for them more? that really sucks....stay away from it! I'm not trying to make anyone think that I feel this way about someone, because I don't, I just thought it was a really cool quote.

so tonight I had to work, then I came home, and took the babysitter home, and then took Elena to taco bell, and then came home. She just got done with a bloody nose which scared me SO bad, I didnt know where blood was coming from, so I freaked out, just to see that it was coming from her nose...serious, just not as serious as I thought. So thats my life for tonight, cleaning up blood stained pjs, and contemplating writing a song called 'blood stained pjs' , but having the song have nothing to do with the title. fun, huh?

Well I think thats it for tonight...I really don't have anything exciting to write about tonight, which perhaps is a good thing, because that means no drama. Thanks for reading, once again, Im out.

Good song

The song I'm listening to right now.....


Never had A Dream Come True

everybody’s got something they had to leave behind
one regret from yesterday
that just seems to grow with time
there’s no use looking back or wondering
how it could be now oh might have been or might have been
oh this i know
but still i can’t find ways to let you go

i never had a dream come true
till the day that i found you
even though i pretend that i’ve moved on
you’ll always be my baby
i never found the words to say
you’re the one i think about each day
and i know no matter where life takes me to
a part of me will always be with you

somewhere in my memory
i’ve lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be
cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
there’s no use looking back or wondering
how it should be now or might have been
oh this i know but still i can’t find ways to let you go

i never had a dream come true
till the day that i found you
even though i pretend that i’ve moved on
you’ll always be my baby
i never found the words to say
you’re the one i think about each day
and i know no matter where life takes me to
a part of me will always be

you’ll always be the dream that fills my head
yes you will say you will you know you will oh baby
you’ll always be the one i know i’ll never forget
there’s no use looking back or wondering
because love is a strange and funny thing
no matter how i try i try i just can’t say goodbye
no no no no

i never had a dream come true
till the day that i found you
even though i pretend that i’ve moved on
you’ll always be my baby i never found the words to
you’re the one i think about each day
and i know no matter where life takes me to
a part of me will always be with you a part of me will always be with you

surprisingly good day...

Happy Valentines to all ya'll out there. I dont care if you hate the holiday, I dont care if you love it, if your single, taken, in love, not in love but taken, in love but not taken.... whatever- happy valentines day, I hope its good for everyone out there.
I woke up this morning, with a groggy, yet surprisingly positive disposition on life itself. I heard so many songs on the radio today, and this may sound dorky, but Im a big music person, and most of the songs I heard were about being OK no matter what situation your in...and I liked it a lot. It made me feel like I shouldn't be so selfish about my happiness...or what I think is 'happiness'. I guess from now on I'm just going to go with the flow of things, see what happens....and if I dont get married in about ten years *which I probably won't* I'll go join the circus or a pack of wolves or something cool like that.
There are so many friendships/relationships that are changing in my life right now..and I really dont know what to think of the whole situation. Life has a way of repeating itself, I feel just like I did last year right before I went to college. College was a good thing for me..it made me realize that there are some really good people out there, and even some not so good people.(Imagine That.)
College also made me realize the people that really really matter to me in my life right now...my close friends and my family. Mainly my family. I realized that I would do anything for my family..I don't care what, just as long as things are good for them.
I'm still a little uneasy about some friendships though....things are rocky right now. I dont like rocky....I like smooth. I wish I could go back a week, and re-do the whole thing...I would know exactly what to do, and what not to do. But I can't do that. So I guess all I can really do is live life a day at the time, looking forward, not back, and being ME. I think thats what Im going to focus on for a while- me...making myself better physically, mentally, and hopefully spiritually.
Well to all of you who have a date tonight, have the best times of your lives- these are the moments worth living, dont forget that. Loves and kisses to all.....have a good night.

Frusterated.

Well...to say the least, I'm really frusterated, and the only person in town that I would usually talk to about my problems is the person that I'm frusterated with. I dont really know what to do with myself right now, because I feel so sick just thinking of the situation. I dont like enclosing information, but I really need to get my feelings out, so I can really understand where I stand.
People are so confusing to me. One moment they will be saying something that makes you think one thing, and the next minute, they say something completely different. I guess I'm really confused right now, because I thought that something good was happening, and it was pretty much just shot down.

One thing, so we all know- I HATE valentines day. More than anything, really.

Well...I can't come to any conclusions this way...I need to TALK to someone...so I'm gonna go see who I can find.

This is SOOO cute...

Something good will happen...Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true. 1. At least 2 people in this world LOVE you so much they would DiE for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A SMiLE from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. If not for you, someone may not be living. 8. You are special&unique. 9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you. 10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you BELiEVE in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 13. Always remember the compliments you received. FORGET about the rude remarks. 14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know. 15. If you have a GREAT FRiEND, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Oh what a beautiful moooorning....

Well Hello all you blog readers. How is everyone on this fine wednesday? I'm in a very happy mood today..not really sure why, but everything seems to be going great for me. Maybe its because Im actually having an awesome hair day today, and Im really happy about it...yeah..thats probably it. I have to talk at church on sunday....I dont know how I feel about that. But this saturday night we have a ward program that is going to be awesome! I can't wait for it- its called the sweethearts ball, and its really fun. The youth put it on for the adults..and this is my first year not being a youth...so that will be wierd, but fun! Alright..its too nice of a day to be inside, and I better stop talking now! BYE!

kibbles and bits!

Hey Guys. Ignore the title, thats the first thing that came to mind...mmmm....kibbles and bits.....haha, ok I think Im done.

Notice that today, I have split my entry up into three sections: My day, Tribute, and Drama. Let me know how you like that.

MY DAY:
So I went to orientation this morning, and it was a weird co-weenk-a-dink that Christie Burnor just happened to be orientating....(what?) for the same job! it was pretty fun to hang out with her. But it was good to get orientation over with..I start training tomorrow- yay. So yeah. thats whats going on right now. after going to orientation I went shopping with my mom for some work pants, because I previously owned NO black pants but, yay, now I do. Now I am home, and later I am going to see a movie with Kandra and Brandi. So yeah, Onto the next section!


TRIBUTE:
theres someone special that I've been thinkin' about for a while now...

MELINDA:
Mel has always been there for me. She is just about the coolest girl on the planet. She is so layed back, I dont think I've ever seen her get really frusterated over something, which is always a good thing to have a friend like that. Shes just so un-stressing, I love it. One time we were going to ask these guys to winter formal (ok, yes this was last year...lol) so we decided to ask them by making a movie for them. Interestingly enough, we ended up not using it because it was too embarrassing. We danced for 17 minutes of it...and then held up signs saying that winter formal was coming up..that was GOOD TIMES.
She is in Utah at school right now, and I miss her lots. Yes I do. I miss her lots. How bout you? (sorry, I had to.) Mel has been my friend for a long time, but we didnt really start hanging out until we started going to High school together, which by the way, would have NEVER been the same without her- it was the best. From checking out Adam Burgey on the first day of Freshman Orientation to laughing at one of Jena's ex-boyfriends and how he ran...lol. Then came senior grad night. we had some good times taking pictures that night. We used blow dryers to make our hair blow in the wind and got some pretty sexy shots...haha! We took a lot of the sample deoderants as well- stocked up so we would never have to buy any in college. Then the best part was kareoke. That was definately at the top of my list. Best time ever.
Well Mel, I hope you read this- I love you lots, and hope we can be friends FOREVER!


DRAMA:
VALENTINES DAY....

Valentines day is the most interesting day to me. People everywhere celebrate their love by buying expensive gifts and chocolates and teddy bears....but why only on this day? I think if you love someone, you should let them know everyday. Wow, this is getting really corny.

Heres my reasoning. I dont have a valentine! Its like one of the saddest days for me, because a- its the day that I started dating my last boyfriend (three years ago)...awkward, and b- I havent had a valentine since then...more awkward. I guess Im trying to sort my thoughts right about now. I think I can be happy on my own...afterall, I have for almost three years now. I haven't had a serious boyfriend for that long, and I've had a good last few years, right? But now I just feel like I sort of want someone that really loves me and isnt afraid to show it..ya know? Im sure theres a lot of people who feel the same way I do, so in no way am I asking for sympathy, heck I dont even know if anyone reads this anymore. But yeah. I want a valentine! Oh well though...maybe next year?

Alright everyone, thats all for today! Thanks for reading, feel free to input! Much love to all ya'll.

first day of work-

Well today is my first day of work..I guess its not really 'work' today, its more like orientation, so I see myself trying to stay awake through movie and lecture....goodtimes! I thought I would write a little bit this morning, because I wasn't in a very chipper mood last night, so I thought I would leave my journal off in a better mood.....so anyways, thats all I wanted to say for now, I'll write more later..maybe! BYe!

Time for a new post

Hey Ya'll. Im really bored tonight. I was supposed to hang out with someone, but it didnt really happen..so yeah. Then I was supposed to go to this church thingy for Malachi's Pine wood durby, but that didn't work out either. I dont want to go out because i have to wake up early tomorrow to start work...so yeah. I dont really feel like doing another tribute today, so I'll just pass on that one- I'll do it when Im in a more chipper mood. Does that work for you? Good.

I really have nothing to write about tonight.

haha, today, I was making apple crisp, and I was measuring the oats, and right as I turned around to add them to the mixture, my dad walked past and dumped them all over the floor!!!

Not funny? hm...Ok.

Well, thats all for tonight, Im sorry I dont have a more dramatic life to tell you about. But I'll see what I can mix up in the next few days ok? Bye!